What we see isn’t just a matter of light hitting our eyes, it’s about how our mind chooses to see. Imagine yourself atop a cliff, enjoying the breathtaking view of the valley below. The view you perceive is light entering your eyes and an image is interpreted by your brain. That interpretation depends on much more than optics. There are other things our vision depends upon.

Subjective Interpretation

Information is gathered by our senses, but our brain interprets them in different ways, depending on our past experiences and future expectations. Our past experiences color our understanding of the present situation.

Let’s take the case of Namita.

Namita came from a broken family, her parents had separated when she was quite young. Namita had a constant feeling of being abandoned, even as an adult. So much so that she was constantly expecting her friends to ditch her. The smallest issues with her friends would flare up, in her mind as yet another betrayal. It came to a point where she could not trust any relationships.

It wasn’t until a coaching conversation, involving deep inner work that made her aware of the lens she was wearing. Her experience was creating a bias that distorted her view of the present. It was depriving her of the ability to cherish and enjoy friendly relationships.

Filters and beliefs

In addition to subjective interpretation, our beliefs also shape what we see. We filter our experiences through personal beliefs shaped by culture, upbringing and identity. Namita’s underlying belief was that everybody would eventually leave and abandon her.

Beliefs may be rooted in religious convictions or stem from our attitudes toward specific groups of people.

Framing

 What it means is that to give another meaning to a statement by changing the context. The way information is framed also alters our perception. When someone is gaslighting us, they frame information in manipulative ways, distorting and significantly altering our perception.

Our point of view isn’t just about where we stand physically, it is also our internal and external experiences which define our world view.

Closing thought

Namita’s breakthrough did not come from changing her friends, it came from how she saw her friends. This shift allowed her to build trust again, and truly experience connection without fear

Perhaps it is not our eyes but the inner lens that needs to be adjusted.

Try this reflection:

• What situations regularly trigger me?
• Am I responding to the present or reliving the past?
• What could be my belief underlying this perception?
• Can I look at this through a different lens?