When The Past Comes Knocking.

What you resist, persists- Carl Jung.

Looking back, many of our difficult times feel strikingly similar even if the circumstances look different and the background unique. The sense of loss, fear of failure, unfulfilled relationships or money situation, they all keep repeating and have a cyclical nature attached to them. Fear in any form often becomes self-fulfilling. We are drawn to situations which will create more fear and our inability to deal with it. We subconsciously create situations we fear, only to resist them again. These unconscious patterns have been repeated so many times it now shapes the way we move through life often without self-awareness.

We hate those situations where we are not able to respond appropriately and actively try to avoid them. Here’s the bad news, those situations come looking for us. By focusing energy on what we think is so important to avoid, we end up energizing it. We end up strengthening exactly what we are trying to weaken.

Here is when a conversation with a coach could bring about an awareness of these self-protective defense mechanisms to make a choice at changing things positively. The first step would be to identify these repetitive patterns and acknowledge the debilitating thought process that allows them to fester. Coach creates space for us to recognize that these once protective thoughts may no longer serve us. This new awareness allows us to monitor associated contractions in our body. Think of the tightness in your chest that comes with the memory of a relationship that was difficult or the queasiness in your stomach before an exam or before a difficult conversation. This new awareness allows us to notice physical contractions in our body, that must be realized. From this new awareness coach supports the coachee in designing meaningful goals, defining actions and building accountability for lasting success.

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