Have you ever felt like you are stuck in the same kind of relationship, just with different people? Maybe it’s an overbearing boss/father, a friend who lets you down or a partner who fails to show up emotionally for you. At first glance they might look like different people but the experiences you have with these people evoke similar feelings. A sense of being abandoned or making you feel small or even at times feeling used. These feelings aren’t just coincidences; they often trace back to our unconscious beliefs and behaviors patterns we carried out for years.

Unless we recognize them, we are bound to repeat the same patterns in different areas of our life. No matter how much we try to change the external circumstances.

Take Neha’s situation, a real world example of how these patterns play out. Neha, is a vibrant 30 year old marketing executive who was tired of working with a series of abusive bosses. Neha decided to start her own business, to solve this problem. She partnered with a senior colleague of hers and together they started their own marketing business. Within a year, she realized. Her new business partner was just another version of the controlling overbearing figures she thought she had left behind. Neha is now looking for a lawyer to annul the partnership.

A case like Neha would be an ideal situation for a skilled coach to step in, who would help her identify these repetitive patterns that recreate the very situations we are trying to escape. Many of us attribute these experiences to bad luck or external circumstances. Well meaning friends and family might offer us advice or solutions which seem overwhelming and even disconnected, because it doesn’t align with our core truth. What’s truly required is an inner journey, guided by a coach, to uncover the multiple layers of unconscious behavior patterns.

If you find yourself caught in emotional patterns that keep repeating in different situations, at work, love or personal success It may be time to take a pause and look inward. Switching environment or people rarely work. A reflective inner journey through self-inquiry or with the guidance of a skilled coach, you would be able to create outcomes that are truly empowering and different.